Spring cleaning

So, Tyler and I spent a good amount of time last night and this morning cleaning our place so the management could come in and replace our air filter. As usual, we hurried up and stuff things in drawers and closets. Not really cleaning at all, just hiding the mess.
All our rushing around to get things picked up and cleaned up so it didn't look like we lived in a complete pigsty got me thinking about how I "clean" my soul and heart for God. I say that I am going to really open up to God and surrender all...give all of my "mess" to him. Instead I find that I hide most of mess from him and just hand over what I am comfortable with. If you know me at all, you know that I am a bit of a control freak and I do not like giving up control of anything to anyone including God. I stuff guilt, and feelings of unworthiness, and jealousy, and pride, and abandonment, etc...into little drawers and closets inside myself.
I don't know why I feel like I need to hold onto these issues in my life. I would love to say "Here you go God...it's all yours! I don't want them anymore." The truth is I don't know what I would do without these issues and feelings. They make up who I am and how I live my life.
So this week as I attempt some deep cleaning at home throwing away all the trash and mess that is cluttering our house, I am going to try to deep clean my soul and throw away all my emotional trash and mess that is cluttering my relationship with God and myself.

I surrender all ~ Judson W. Van DeVenter
All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In his presence I daily live.
Refrain:
I surrender all;
I surrender all;
All to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
All to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior,wholly thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know Thou art mine.
All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
All to Jesus I surrender;
Now, I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, Glory, to His name!