Monday, September 27, 2010

My Big Girl!!!

This has been a emotional couple of days for me as a momma. I have watched Addisyn turn into a big girl and I am realizing that she isn't going to be a baby for much longer.
I mailed out her 1st Birthday invitations on Saturday and that's when it hit me. She's growing up! My little puddin' isn't going to be little forever. I wish I could stop time right now and have Addisyn stay a baby forever!
On Sunday Addisyn had another big girl moment. She had her first sippy cup of cow's milk! No more formula! And did you notice that I said sippy cup?! That's right...we are trying to get off the bottle. Another big girl moment! :)
Today was the biggest big girl moment we have had so far. Today Addisyn went to her first day of daycare! I don't know who it was harder on me or her. I know Addisyn is in good hands at Kiddie Kollege, but it was still hard to leave her. It does make it a little easier that I know the director, Kimber, and I know she is GREAT at what she does and that she knows Addisyn. It is also nice that I know Addisyn's "teacher" as well. Gail is an ex-co-workers of mine and she is an amazing woman! It is no accident that these two women are where they are. I know God knows how worried and anxious I have been about leaving Addisyn at daycare. I know he put Gail in Addisyn's classroom so I would know she is being well cared for. I know God opened the doors of Kiddie Kollege to us when we needed it knowing Kimber was in charge so I could feel at peace, and know that someone there loved Addisyn and has known her before she was even born. I still cried when we left Addisyn's classroom, but I knew she was going to be OK, and God was watching over her.
I know more "big girl moments" are still to come...and I look forward to experiencing them with Addisyn, but I am still going to cherish the few "baby moments" we still have.

Friday, September 10, 2010

You want me to do what?!

"So why do you keep calling me 'Lord, Lord!' when you don't do what I say?" Luke 6:46, NLT

Lately I have been feeling God tapping me on the shoulder, trying to get my attention. In typical Meghann fashion, I ignore Him. I'm not sure if it is me being scared, or wanting to be in control. I pray everyday for certain things, and I can feel God telling me what I need to do but I don't like what He is saying. I worry that doing what God is telling me will prevent me from doing what I want. I am not putting God first in my life right now. He comes in at a very close second, but that's not how it is supposed to be. We are told that God is to come before evrything in our lives. Before spouses, children, family, friends, money, material things... I am scared of how my life will be changed if I start putting God in controll and doing what He tells me. I know that in the end, my life will be better because God knows what is best for us and has a plan for our lives. I am starting to think if I put God first in my life then the nagging feeling I have that something is missing would be gone. I have a constant feeling deep deep inside me that is longing for something, but I have no idea what it is. I try to push it deeper down and pile more emotions and baggage on top. I know myself well enough to know that I can't open up to what God is telling me all at once, but I can try a little bit harder everyday.

( I know this is a bunch of rambling, but that's what this blog is for. Even if it doesn't make sense to you, and seems like a bunch of thoughts just mushed together, it makes sense to me.)