Perfection is over rated

I know it is shocking, but I am not perfect. I will give you a moment is get over the shock...haha. Even though I can say I'm not perfect doesn't stop me from trying to be. This past week has been tough and I only made it tougher for myself and Tyler by trying to live up to my idea of perfection. Being the "perfect wife" and the "perfect mother" is exhausting. One of the things that I struggle with is asking for help. I try to do everything myself and become overwhelmed and stressed out. I just let the stress of trying to be perfect build up and up until I snap. And I usually snap at poor Tyler because he is close by. Poor poor Tyler has been the victim of my beak downs SEVERAL times during our marriage.

Last night I took a big step for me...I asked Tyler for help. Addisyn was getting fussy and ready for bed, and I still had laundry to get done before work in the morning. Normally I would have put off the laundry, gotten Addisyn settled down and in bed, then gone back to the laundry and been up waiting for it to get done. Instead, I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked Tyler to give Addisyn her bedtime bottle and rock her. He gladly helped, and I was able to get the laundry done by the time Addisyn was put in her crib!

It was great to not feel stressed and try to do everything myself, but what was even better was watching Tyler and Addisyn snuggle together before bed. They have a special bond and relationship and it is so neat to see them interact with each other, even when its just snuggling. That girl loves her Daddy, and her Daddy loves her more than she will ever know.

So I have decided, perfection is over rated. I would much rather watch Tyler and Addisyn together then get stressed out trying to do everything myself. (I will always do the laundry myself though. I cannot stand the way Tyler folds clothes...lol)

What keeps me going...

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." 1 Tim 4:12



"Your blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." Matthew 5:4



"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20

"May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his countenance shine upson you, and be gracious to you; may the Lord turn is countence to you and grant you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

"The Lord will work out His plans for my life -- for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6

Amen!!!

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micha 6:8



This was part of the scripture reading at church yesterday. It has been a long time since I could tell you what the scripture reading was after the service let alone the next day. Yesterday was the installation service for our new pastor. Over the past 5 or so years, the attendance on a normal Sunday has been between 70 and 75 people. Yesterday there were close to 150 people! Praise God! I understand that some of these people may not come back and were former members who wanted to check out the new pastor but it felt like the church I grew up in. The church where 150+ people was normal every week.

As part of the installation service, we took communion and it was amazing! We had to wait for room at the alter! We had to wait on people to receive the sacrament! THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE WE HAD TO WAIT!!! I could feel the presence of God in that church and could feel Him say "It's a new season here at Congress Street United Methodist! Get ready for a change!"

You have to understand that CSUMC is MY church. I grew up there. All of my best memories from growing up are either in the church or with the people who attended. This church helped make me who I am. I fell in love with Jesus in this church! When I went to college I stopped going to CSUMC and when I came back after Addisyn was born it was like walking into a place i have never been. It was so different. Now it is finally starting to feel like the church I know it can be. The amazing thriving church that God wants it to be!

Positive, Encouraging...

Positive, Encouraging....KLOVE! Oh how I love to hear those words through my radio at work and in the car! For over a year now 106.7 has been the default setting on my radios. There have been times when just the right song comes on at just the right time. Or just the right scripture is read at just the right time. I cannot tell you how many times I have been moved or touched by what was said and it changed my whole day.

The past week or so has been rough on me. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I have been feeling defeated and deflated. I was beginning to think I was part of a bad daytime soap opera. (Side note: I love bad daytime soap operas.) Then, today I get in the car to go to work and the first thing I hear is "Positive, Encouraging, Klove" and I felt my body and mind relax. It was like God was telling me "stay positive and encouraging. Don't let the words or actions of others bring you down". That is exactly what I needed to hear and I feel so much better now.

I am going to stay positive and not let the hurtful words or action of others ruin my day. Instead I am going to encourage those people to be disciples of Christ and show them the face of Christ through my words and actions.

Thank you KLOVE for being on the air and doing God's work. You are a true blessing in my life!

A week with Addisyn

What a week! I got to spend an entire week with Addisyn and it was amazing! I haven't been able to spend that much time with her since I was on maternity leave. We didn't do a lot of the things I had wanted to but our time together was awesome. I have so much respect and gratitude for my mother in law and husband who much watch Addisyn during the week. What a little handful she has become! And fast...this girl can get across the house in no time flat! But, even though she is a handful and mobile I loved our week together.
I was able to witness a few of Addisyn's firsts this week! The first time she crawled on her knees! The first time she pulled herself up in her crib! The first time she sat in the normal tub without support! I cannot believe how much she changed in just one week! Even her hair seems to be longer. :)
I was sad to go back to work but knew that it is what I have to do in order to provide Addisyn with the stuff she needs. I wish I could stay home with her and watch her grow up before my eyes all day everyday. I am thankful though that since I cannot be with her everyday she has the next best thing! She has an amazing daddy and grandma who take turns during the week. She is a luck little lady to be able to play with her daddy and grandma and not have to go to daycare.
I am already counting down until my vacation next year! So many more first will happen before then and I know I wont be able to see all of them, but I am happy that someone who loves her more than anything will see them!

Battle Wounds

I know my husband is going to roll is eyes and shake his head when/if he reads this because what I am about to say is 100% contradictory to what I say almost everyday. I love my body! I don't say that to be conceded or self indulgent. Sure, I would love to lose those last few pounds of baby weight and then some, but my body in general is amazing and I love it! I mean think about it...God created our bodies to do amazing things! The fact that we can breath without thinking about it is pretty incredible.

My body has been through a lot and I am awe struck by all it is able to do. My body was able to carry and nurture a baby for 9 months! A living thing was created, grown, and cared for in my body! Stop and think about that for a minute! Pretty incredible right?!

Even though my body was able to carry a baby for 9 months, it was pushed to it's limits. My body had to stretch, and it left it's mark...literally.

I know my body will never be the same again, and I am happy about that. I have battle wounds that I wouldn't trade for anything. I have stretch marks, and a scar from my c-section, and wider hips from carrying a 7lb 11oz baby to term.

Most of the time I look in the mirror and I see only flaws. Today I saw the body of a mother. My body tells the story of me becoming a mother and each stretch mark and the scar on my belly are reminders of the life I brought into this world. They are reminders of how God created me to create Addisyn and I thank him everyday for that!

Getting excited

2 more days!!!! 2 more days and I get to spend a whole week with my baby! I cannot tell you have excited I am to spend so much time with Addisyn! I have not been able to spend more than a long weekend with her since I went back to work when she was 8 weeks old. I have been thinking and planning what I am going to do with her during my time off. Should we go to the park? The swimming pool? The zoo? I want to be able to experience a lot of firsts with her since I have missed so many already. I missed her rolling over the first time, army crawling, figuring out how to take off her diaper :) In the 6 months that I have been working Addisyn has grown up and changed so much! She has gone from tiny baby that seemed almost breakable, to a mobile explorer who bumps her head and keeps going. I look back at pictures of her as a newborn and she doesn't even look like the same baby. She is a little person now. She has emotions, and personality. She laughs when something is funny, and "talks" back when you talk to her. She has a favorite stuffed bunny and smiles so big it melts my heart when she sees it. She can hold her own bottle and wants so desperately to hold her own spoon. I miss my tiny baby...but I am completely in love with a little lady!

As much as I want to experience a lot of firsts with Addisyn during my "staycation", I know she wont remember or care about what we did. I am sure if we just stayed home and played on the floor she would be happy. She is happy with some of the simplest things. Right now she is fascinated with cups and water bottles. It is really cute when we hand her a plastic Tupperware cup and she puts it up to her mouth like she is drinking from it. She does the same thing with water bottles (with the lid on of course). It is so awesome to see the world through her eyes right now, and see her reactions to things we take for granted everyday. I cannot wait to spend a whole week experiencing life through her!